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The Slug Election 2017

A slug is a small mollusk resembling a land snail but without the obvious exterior shell. It occurred to me as I surveyed my garden path, that the slug bears more than a passing resemblance to the average politician. Ergo slug number one leaves a slimy trail, which slug number two follows and so on down the slippery slope. Have you ever caught a slug in action? No! Generally, you wake up and they are just there. You don’t know where they came from and you didn’t invite them, but there they lie, blighting the lettuces of your life – and all wearing the same dull, dull, dull expression.

As far as I can tell, the average pollie’s loyalty is to their party, or faction – not to the voters. In politics it’s all about control, self-interest, greed, sleight of hand, spin and downright deception. So where does that leave us, honest everyday folk? With a serious slug problem that’s what! (Who was it said that the only person who went into Parliament with an honourable intention was Guy Fawkes?)

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